Ask Cristina: Couples Conflict Choosing Color
"Designing in Pairs" Article first printed in Latina Style magazine.
Dear Cristina,
“¡Ayudeme por favor! My husband and I have completely different ideas when it comes to decorating our home. I love bright vibrant colors like deep red and citron lime. His favorite colors are beige, brown and white. We haven’t been able to agree and we’ve hardly fought about anything until now. Do you have any ideas that’ll help us figure out a color scheme we’ll both love?”
M.E. Salazar
Since you both care enough about color to fight over it, make
the time to choose your color scheme together. Don’t fall
into the trap of first choosing colors for both of you and then
bring the choices to him for his approval – you’ll
only end up in a power struggle. Giving the partner who
doesn’t do any of the work veto power over the
other’s color choices is a sure-fire way to get into
another fight or end in a frustrating standstill.
The colors you see in your home reflect the choices you both
make to define your life together. Use this disagreement
as a way to reach a new level of understanding in your
marriage. Here are a few ground rules to start –
add any others as needed.
1. Don’t criticize any color choices
(including your own). You can say no to a color without getting
personal.
2. Say things you would be comfortable
hearing.
3. Remember that you love each other.
Compromise is necessary for a new beginning.
Begin by working together to collect swatches or examples of
favorite colors. Go through your closet together and
collect piles of clothing colors you love. You might be
surprised to find that your favorite color of faded blue jean
is really more blue-gray than bright blue. When you spot
a great color combination, like his natural linen trousers
paired with your soft turquoise blue shirt, take note. Move
your separate piles of clothing out of the closet and set them
aside.
Keep an open mind as you walk around the house and collect
other objects that have colors you adore. Don’t
limit yourself to the assortment of colors in a few pictures or
throw pillows. Open the kitchen cupboards. You may love
the deep, rich brown of your favorite blend of café or
the amber gleam of a cup of brewed tea.
When you feel like you’ve collected enough samples, sit
down together and look at the collection of items. Take
turns choosing a favorite color from your own pile and then a
color you like (or can at least live with) from his pile.
You may both be surprised with the color combinations you
discover you like. Remember his favorite linen trousers?
Team that soft taupe color of linen with the deep red of your
favorite dress and you’re on your way to a great color
scheme in the living room – taupe
ceiling and walls with a
red accent wall. Pair the cocoa powder brown color of his
beloved old leather coat with the soft pinks of your best
lingerie and you now have a sexy, warm color scheme for the
bedroom. Paint the trim throughout your home a soft white or
beige he likes that complements the colors you enjoy and it
will unify the variety of colors you choose in every room of
your home.
When you choose your colors together the home you create
represents the life you create together. ¡Que tenga una
buena vida!
Caption for Photo: A single
color trim color throughout the house unifies a variety of
different colors.
About Cristina
Cristina Acosta is a nationally renowned artist, author, design
and color consultant. She wrote Paint Happy!
(isbn#1-58180-118-1) and is currently writing a new book based
on her home décor color
consulting. Contact Cristina for a consultation.
